"Don't forget to leave me a postcard or a self-addressed stamped envelope if you want to get your grades early, this semester. I do not, I repeat, do not accept e-mail queries. Students don't seem to take them seriously. If I tell them they earned a 'D', without fail, they e-mail me back about a thousand times saying 'Are you sure that's my grade, Mimi? Are you sure?' So I don't want to be caught up in a thousand e-mails asking if I'm sure, because I'm sure. If I see one e-mail in my box saying 'Mimi, I forgot to leave you an envelope! Can you please e-mail me my grade?', I am totally going to send you a link to a gay porn site."